Hats: Okay, Brittketeers, you probably recall our ill-fated test run of the OuiFuck the other day. Well, I've gone over the footage, and as we all suspected, the source of our difficulty was a simple poor choice in judgment, picking Purple Pete here to be our first test-pilot. He was just too floppy to get in on his own! Sure, he did okay after I inserted him manually, but, dammit, this is the 21st century! Are we stuck in the age where we have to lend a hand to our remote controlled robotic penis machines? Not an age I'm willing to stay in, by Jove!

Hats: So out with Pete, and in with Turgid Thomas! As you can see, Thos sports a much more rigid volume, so he'll not be diverted so easily! See! 

Thomas is now attached to the OuiFuck, and H is in position. 

Hats: So are you ready for the OuiFuck, Mark II? The future is now!

She jabs away, but Thomas just mashes against her labia, never inserting. 

Hats: Hmm. Come on. Cmon. Dammit! Fuck! Come on, Thos, you can do it! 

Hats: It seems Turgid Thomas neglected to inform me that his friend Sally Servomotor was feeling a little under-powered.