Skyy: Hey Shay. What's up?

Shay: Skyy! Hiii! Wow that's a great ensemble you're rocking today!

Skyy: Thanks! You're looking lovely as usual! Too bad we can't get together!

Yeah, that's a bummer!

Skyy: So what's up?

Shay: Well, I saw Summer recently, and something came up, and she insisted that I tell you myself, because she can't tell you herself but she really thinks you ought to know, and she didn't really want to talk to you anyways, but she was afraid that even with the HIPAA laws she wouldn't be able to not tell you, so I really should be the one to do it.

Skyy: HIPAA? Why couldn't she tell me . . . ? Is it something medical?

Shay: Yeah! I'm kinda pregnant!

Skyy: Wh--p-pregnant?? Whuhh, H-Who's the father?

Shay: Oh, don't worry, it's not you or your brothers! Probably. It's probably this guy from work.

Skyy: Probably? You don't sound too sure.

Shay: Well as sure as a condom's reliability! You all used condoms, remember?

Skyy: True. They're not 100% effective though. 

Shay: Right. Right. . . . And we didn't even use the one I poked holes in.

Skyy: WHAT??

Shay: It was the Imp of the Perverse!! I just couldn't help myself! Same reason I just told you that now . . . Shay you big doodlebug!

Skyy: Jeezus Fucking Christ, Shay. 

Shay: But at least I managed to throw it out right before you all arrived! I resisted it in the end! . . . I think!

Skyy: Shay, you need help.