Hats sits down to a video conference with Kristen.
Kristen: Morning Hatsuki!
Hats: Good morning Professor Bartlet.
Kristen: Oh please, call me Kristen!
Hats: Okay. Kristen. Now I know you said that you'll be teaching abstinence, but that's not really what my classes are about. I sent over a syllabus, and I expect you to teach from it.
Kristen: Oh, yes! I got it! Thank you so much! Don't worry, I'll stick to it exactly!
Hats: You will?
Kristen: Absolutely! Your material really opened my eyes to a lot of things I'd never really considered before!
Hats: Really? Wow, that's great!
Kristen: Can we go over my classes? I'd love to show you what I've got prepared!
Hats: Yes, please!
Kristen: Okay! So for History of Erotica, I had no idea that erotic imagery was so prevalent in so many cultures around the world!
Hats: Yes, it's true! It spans the globe, practically every civilization!
Kristen: It all makes sense! That explains why they all perished from the earth!
Hats: Uhh no, that's not--
Kristen: Then for Healthy Sexual Body Image, you're so right, society really does train us all to have such an unhealthy view of ourselves!
Hats: Well that's right at least!
Kristen: We all really need to pay more attention to dressing modestly! Fashions really need to be less revealing, and more matronly!
Hats: That's the exact wrong lesson to learn from that class.
Kristen: Porn vs Hollywood: Both equally sinful!
Hats: Okay. I think I can see where the rest of this meeting is going.
Kristen: Non-Visual Erotica: We do need to be on the lookout for Satanic influences outside of what we see!
Hats: Look, Kristen, I don't think this is really going to work out. We're not really on the same page here.
Kristen: Oh, and Spectrum of Sexuality! This one I really got the most out of!
Hats: Did you now.
Kristen: Yes! There are so many genders, and so many things people find attractive in each other! I was completely in the dark on all that before I read your materials!
Hats: . . . And?
Kristen: And the myth that there are just men and women is really shockingly harmful! Everybody really needs to know that there are so many more ways to be out there!
Hats: Oh. Okay . . . that's . . . kind of on the right path.
Kristen: Only then can we set the order back right with men on top, and figure out what exactly each of the rest of us various groups can do to serve them!
Hats: Aaaaannd there it is. *sigh*
