Lisa: So Hats, good news/bad news. Good news is that they've dropped Ms. Johnson from their witness list. 

Hats: That's great!

Lisa: Yep! But the bad news is that it looks like they're going for a crazy last ditch attempt to win. They're claiming that since you have a daughter, that must prove that you've had sex with a man!

Hats: What?? That's ridiculous! 

Lisa: That's what I said! You used a sperm donor, right?

Hats: Uh, well, not exactly.

Lisa: Not exactly? What does that mean?

Hats: It's, uh, well, it's complicated.

Lisa: Try me.

Hats: Well, as a lesbian I didn't think I needed to be on birth control at the time, and as a porn actress, I'm often called on to do this position called "scissoring" with other women. Apparently someone I was with had some, uh, male residue . . . left over in her vagina, and then I went and, uh, rubbed my vagina all over hers, and there was some . . . well, cross transference?

Lisa: You . . . got pregnant from another woman?

Hats: That's the best I can figure! Cuz I had definitely never even saw a penis in real life then! Honest!

Lisa: So you . . . don't know who the father is?

Hats: No!

Lisa: Well fuck. 

Hats: What? I'm telling the truth!

Lisa: The enemy are pushing for an expedited trial date. I'm now guessing that they know that you don't have any proof of who the father is, and no way to find out. They'll claim that you had sex with some guy, and are lying to cover it up.

Hats: But I didn't! I'm telling the truth!!

Lisa: I believe you, but will a jury? Your story is pretty convoluted.

Hats: Shit. Isn't there anything we can do?

Lisa: I'll wrack my brain, but nothing's coming to mind at the moment. I can try to delay the trial date, but given your story, they're not likely to give us further time for investigation. 

Hats: Wait! Moon! Maybe she's right!

Lisa: What? What are you talking about? What about the moon?

June: Is this really gonna prove we're twins, Hats?

Hats: I sure hope so sweetie!