Hats: Oh shit, my lawyer's calling! I gotta take this!

Hats: Lisa! What's up? Something good, I hope?

Lisa: Yes! I had a private investigator follow around that "Mr." Johnson that testified against you, and it turns out, she is transgender after all! I confronted her about it, and she admitted that the other side paid her to pretend she considered herself male!

Hats: Wow, holy shit! So what does that mean to the case? Don't they still have that pic that makes it look like we fucked?

Lisa: Who cares, they can't use it! It's witness tampering, and bribery! That whole testimony will get dismissed as tainted!

Hats: Oh my god, really? Will they be, like arrested?

Lisa: Well, that's still to be seen. They were smart enough to work through an unknown intermediary, so we can't quite pin it on them directly. One of those "everybody knows what happened, but no one can prove it" things.

Hats: Ah. I see.

Lisa: But this is still huge! They're back to square one! All they can claim is that the original video of you and your sister-in-law violated the contract. We're not out of the woods there, but think about it: if they thought they could win on that alone, they would have gone to trial a long time ago! And why would they go to the trouble to bribe Ms. Johnson knowing what she had to say? They're scared of the trans aspects of this case!

Hats: Right, right!

Lisa: So don't celebrate yet, but things are looking up! The ball's back in their court for now, but they don't have much of a play I can see. They may be open to settling again, or if they don't do anything soon, we could potentially even move for a dismissal!

Hats: That's . . . that's great!

Lisa: So I'll keep you posted! You hang in there, don't do anything dumb, and we'll get through this yet! Okay!?

Hats: Okay!

Lisa: Okay! I'll talk to you soon then. Bye bye!

Hats: Bye! 

Hats: I guess I probably shouldn't take a video just to see how sexy we look from the rear then.

Lake: We can just get some mirrors!