Hats: . . . I know it sounds outlandish, but that's what really happened.

Lisa: Thank you. No further questions. 

Opposing Lawyer: Ms. Winters, that was quite a story.

Hats: It's not a story, it's the truth. 

Opposing Lawyer: You're a mathematician, aren't you, Ms. Winters?

Hats: Yes.

Opposing Lawyer: I don't suppose you could calculate the odds of your little scenario, could you? That a sperm could survive inside one woman for, apparently at least a day, and then be transferred into your body through mere surface contact with your, uh, womanly bits? And then make it all the way, excuse my bluntness, but, all the way up inside you to impregnate you? Could you tell us the odds on that?

Hats: I could, if I had enough data regarding the variables involved, but I don't, so no, I can't calculate that right now.

Opposing Lawyer: Well we happened to ask another professional mathematician, and he told us the odds would be one in a million! One in a million, Ms. Winters! What do you say to that??

Hats: I'd say I'd want to see what went into that calculation of probability. Errors in the assumptions that calculations are based on can frequently throw off the results by orders of magnitude. I would also question the methods by which the data was estimated. Human bodies have wide ranges of morphological differences that can make generalizations particularly inaccurate.

Opposing Lawyer: Uhhh.

Hats: Furthermore, I would point out that one-in-a-million probabilities are not really all that infrequent! Getting hit by lightning, or being in a plane crash, those are extremely rare events, probably in the one-in-a-million ballpark, yet they happen, and enough that we all know of multiple instances of them happening. 

Opposing Lawyer: Well, that, uh, that may be, but--

Hats: There's 7 billion people on the planet. One-in-a-million level events would be expected to happen 7000 times among us all! Sure they're rare, but they have to happen to someone! What's to say I wasn't one of them?

Opposing Lawyer: Uhhhhhhhh . . . .

Judge: Might I take that to mean you have no further questions, counsel?

Opposing Lawyer: Well, um, uhh

Judge: You may step down, Ms. Winters.